July 30, 2011

An ode to my shoe

Dearest shoe,
When I decided to buy you,
It was not because I liked you or cuz you looked fancy.
It was only because I wanted a shoe
And all other shoes looked too boyish
And wouldn't look nice when I wore it with skirts to college.

My first day wearing you,
Everyone looked at you & I,
Cuz nobody wears running shoes with skirts to the hospital.
I was not ashamed & neither were you.

You were stronger than I,
You gave me the support I needed to stand for hours at stretch,
You tolerated my daily increasing weight,
You didn't mind when I got you dirty by kicking at piles on sand,
Or when I got you bruised by kicking pebbles,
You didn't mind when I kept you soaked in cold surf water for a whole day,
You didn't mind when I spun you in the washing machine.

If I have un-hurting legs today,
It's thanks to you!

I bought you by mere chance
But now, you're my favourite :)
With these medical appointments, I'm learning & growing,
And you're helping me grow.

You'll always remain my favourite
And will always occupy a special place in the shoe rack :)
I love you
And trust me, I know people who envy you ;)

*picture of the shoe coming up soon*

Then & Now

I and my friends were talking about how being in college has changed us, and it was amazing how much we've changed - for better or worse, I can't say but I'm seriously surprised at the various things I've done and the person I've grown into!

I was someone who was scared of blood! The slightest of bruise, I'd cry & call for mum. Now, I can draw blood from patients. I've even seen floods of blood when people with bleeding limbs come to see the doctor. Once, a patient was being transfused blood, and he'd accidently pulled out the line so he was in a mess - blood all over his hands and a blood pool on the floor. And by reflex, I went and closed the IV canula lid and assured him that everything was fine with the little bit of Sinhalese I know.
Later, as I was washing my hands, I realised I could face a huge pool of blood without feeling squeamish or scared! Achievement! :D

I was this girl who'd go to bed at 10pm and get up at 7am for school. In between, I'd do the necessary studying and squeeze in TV and fun time.
Now, I can NEVER fall asleep before 11pm. I get insomnia, very often. I pop in sleeping pills before exams and I'm forced to get up at 6am.
The first few months here, I drank gallons of coffee to stay awake. Every day, I dozed off in lectures!! And coffee became my friend - it didn't keep me awake, but then everyone said it does so I drunk as much as I could. The first thing I'd do after getting out of bed, with eye lids still droopy, was grab the Nescafe bottle and pour a spoonfull  into my white huge mug!
But with time, I've let go of coffee. Not willingly, though.  I end up getting up late and I need to keep aside the coffee, and rush to college with just a shower.

I watch more movies than I read books.
And I don't remember most of the times, the content of the movies I watch. I think I watch them only to avoid reading the huge books I'm actually supposed to :D
But, I love Grey's Anatomy, The Vampire Diaries & now House M.D.

I was someone who loved reading novels. Nicholas Sparks, Danielle Steel, Paulo Coelho, Meg Cabot, Paulo Coelho, Cecilia Ahern - I loved them all.
Now, I don't even remember which was the novel I read last! I am only reading books on Anatomy, Physiology, Surgery & Medicine!

I've been a thin person. I never had a stomach flab.
Now, I have one! Sigh!
I always make plans of daily exercise, but it never happens - blame time!

But, being away from home, I've become a very independent person.
I never went out grocery shopping alone, I never went to the bank & when mum asked me to make some official calls, I'd always find some reason not to.
Now, I do it all. I've learnt to fend for myself. And I'm proud I'm doing it when I'm 19 :)

Being in college has taught me so many lessons, more than all I've learnt before being here. Lesson one was not to trust anyone but yourself. The next was to be confident and speak up, without shying. (Talking of which, I'm no more that shy, timid person I was before).
Most important, SMILE - it does wonders :)

I've always loved the way I was but I love this me a lot more!

July 21, 2011

The Proust Questionnaire - version 1

What is your idea of happiness?
- waking up to sun rays filtering into my room 
- afternoon naps

What is your greatest fear?
Fear of dying in a plane crash.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
No one, really. I haven't really done anything which I can equate with to somebody else's work.

Which living person do you most admire?
My mum - there's no other woman like her.
So strong willed, yet the most loving heart.
She raised me single handedly, gave me all I asked for & showered me with infinite love.
She's my source of inspiration, my best friend & my mentor.
Tell me one reason why I should find someone else to admire?

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I don't know if there's a particular word/words to describe it, but I don't like the way I expect others to be nice to me just because I'm nice to them, or be helpful because I help them when I can.
I tell myself time and again that people are different and traits & types vary; yet I tend to think everyone thinks & feels like me.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Lack of gratitude.
Being grategul is as important as knowing & remembering how to tie your shoe laces.

What is your greatest extravagance?
Clothes & food. I will never hesitate in buying something that catches my eye, has landed me in trouble many a times but old habits die hard *wink
But, I'd like to spend on traveling and exploring the world. I want to go see Europe & Maldives more than anything!

What is your favourite journey? 
Journey that takes me home, to people I love.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
*You can't be sincere 24/7.
I can't. 

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My calves and the flab on my tummy!

Which living person do you most despise?
Oh there's this one person who I wish dead!

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

What is your greatest regret?
That I did not learn how to swim!

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

When and where were you happiest?
Last summer, when I was home with my entire family + extended family.
That'll be the most memorable summer I had.

What is your present state of mind?
Restless. I want a good book to read! Or is it some cheese cake I want?

How would you like to die?
In sleep, wearing my favourite nightie.

What is your favourite motto?
Live life to the fullest & achieve all the goodies of life
Do what makes you happy!

July 13, 2011

Diagnosis gone wrong

"The germans dumped a young Soviet prisoner in my ward late one night. The ward was full, so I put him in my room as he was moribund and screaming and I did not want to wake the ward.

I examined him. He had obvious gross bilateral cavitation and a severe pleural rub. I thought the latter was the cause of the pain and the screaming. I had no morphine, just aspirin which had no effect. I felt desperate. I knew very little Russian then and there was no one in the ward who did.

I finally instinctively sat down on the bed and took him in my arms, and the screaming stopped almost at once. He died peacefully in my arms a few hours later. It was not the pleurisy that caused the screaming but loneliness.

It was a wonderful education about the care of dying. I was ashamed of my misdiagnosis and kept the story secret."

Abstract from One man's medicine: an autobiography of Professor Archie Cochrane. British Medical Journal.

July 2, 2011

Why I've been M.I.A

Of the 672 hours in the past 4 weeks, I', almost certain I spent more than 500 hours in the hospital. Out of those 500 hours, I spent at least 250 hours standing and about 15 hours watching kick ass surgeries being done.

And that is very reason why I've been away from blogging.

I'm doing my first Surgery Appointment. Exhausting-ly interesting would be the shortest way of describing the first 4 weeks of the appointment.
It is so much more fun than lectures & practicals in the laboratories. But, it demands so much more hard work, energy & time. Currently, I'm deprived of a social life! I come home only to eat & sleep; and being someone who loves to sleep, I'm sleep deprived, as well!

The day begins at 6am and within 45 minutes I have to shower, get dressed, eat breakfast and stride to the hospital complex to be in the ward by 7.15am. Then, we speak to patients, get their "history" and examine them. We need to be in the wards until 12.00 so until then we read, chat & somehow, kill time.
It's a splendid opportunity to learn; I've learnt more than what I learnt in the first two years of lectures in these four weeks. But then again, it demands a lot.

Getting to watch surgeries being done is the BEST part of the appointment. I am still not sure if its a surgeon I want to become, but seeing these surgeons display their skills tempts me to be one :p
The 6-8 hours I've spent standing in the operating theatres are the only hours of standing I found worthwhile :)

Two more weeks until I wind up with this appointment; two more weeks to learn as much I can; two more weeks of being sleep deprived; two more weeks until I party!

On one of the days in the Operation Theatre.