Life is not a bed of roses, they said
Slowly getting to realise what they meant
The bubble wrap around me popping slowly but steadily
Eyes opening up to things unheard of, unimagined of
June 11, 2017
October 30, 2015
Two special years with the Yangchenphug Family
If there’s one word to
describe my journey with the Yangchenphug family, it would be incredible!
My admission to YHSS in Class 11 in 2007 to complete the last two years of my high school education was a dream come true! As I moved from Little Dragon to Changangkha LSS to Motithang High School, I always dreamt of wearing the YHSS uniform one day, perhaps because I knew this school of learning had so much to offer me. And today, as I reflect back, it has been one of my best decisions.
My admission to YHSS in Class 11 in 2007 to complete the last two years of my high school education was a dream come true! As I moved from Little Dragon to Changangkha LSS to Motithang High School, I always dreamt of wearing the YHSS uniform one day, perhaps because I knew this school of learning had so much to offer me. And today, as I reflect back, it has been one of my best decisions.
It’s been 7 years since
I graduated from YHSS but it feels like just yesterday when I walked up to the
Science Block in the morning, devoured the momos and fried rice in the canteen
over lunch, spent close to 8 hours daily in school and walked back home after
the bell summoned the end of the day, already looking forward to the next day
at school.
I have several vivid
memories of my stay at Yangchenphug. English lessons with Madam Sangay Lhamo
were my absolute favourite – I remember trying hard to grasp the way she
pronounced words so beautifully. I can guarantee I never stifled a yawn in her
classes. Math lessons with Mr. Murgiah, Biology with Mr. Tushar, Chemistry with
Mr. Pradesh, Physics with Mr. Roy and Dzongkha with my favourite class teacher
Lopen Phurba conducted in what will be my favourite class in the 13 years of my
education in Bhutan – 12 Science C, has the biggest role to play in what I have
become today.
Today as I watch my
second home – Yangchenphug – from my work place at the JDWNRH, I am always
taken down memory lane. I will be forever grateful to Yangchenphug, for she honed
my personal skills; from a timid and a complete introvert to a confident person
who could fend and speak up for herself. The friends I made during my two years
there and the enormous support meted out by the school faculty deserves due
credit for this; and it is this that helped me survive 5 and half years of
college life away from home and family.
Thank you is so little,
but that is all I can offer to you, my dearest Yangchenphug family!
September 3, 2015
NGOP diaries #02
Clad in hues of blue, green and red
Hair set straight down to the shoulder
Eyes moulded to shape with black eyeliner
And eyelashes curled up, loaded with mascara.
Dressing up to game is exciting
But who are we trying to impress?
Ourselves?
Society?
Or are we just pleasing our famished egos?
Hair set straight down to the shoulder
Eyes moulded to shape with black eyeliner
And eyelashes curled up, loaded with mascara.
Dressing up to game is exciting
But who are we trying to impress?
Ourselves?
Society?
Or are we just pleasing our famished egos?
September 2, 2015
NGOP diaries #01
One among a crowd of close to 3000
Feeling like a matchstick in a matchbox
Ears attuned to the voice of the lecturers
Eyes dancing in all possible directions looking for familiar faces
Mind wandering from here to you to back here
Smiling silently to myself
And wandering what do I feed the butterflies in my tummy...
....you, perhaps?
Feeling like a matchstick in a matchbox
Ears attuned to the voice of the lecturers
Eyes dancing in all possible directions looking for familiar faces
Mind wandering from here to you to back here
Smiling silently to myself
And wandering what do I feed the butterflies in my tummy...
....you, perhaps?
August 16, 2015
Human waves
Building conversation out of the blue
And perpetuating like the flow of water
From good mornings to the day's happenings
Butterflies in the tummy, incessantly.
Amazing how human beings come & go like sea waves ~
And perpetuating like the flow of water
From good mornings to the day's happenings
Butterflies in the tummy, incessantly.
Amazing how human beings come & go like sea waves ~
August 4, 2015
Cold
Fingers wrapped around my warm coffee mug
Oiled hair tied up in pigtails
Woollen pajamas keeping me warm
Gazing up at the grey sky
Grateful for this time off by my own
Oiled hair tied up in pigtails
Woollen pajamas keeping me warm
Gazing up at the grey sky
Grateful for this time off by my own
July 30, 2015
Full stop
I've stopped believing in happy endings
I vouch for a happy journey now
I've stopped praying for a happily ever after
I'd rather be happy now; happy today
I've stopped weaving dreams & plans
I'd rather do something I love daily
I've stopped thinking of the so called future
My horizon extends to just the end of the next week
I'd like to believe I'm getting wiser 😄
I vouch for a happy journey now
I've stopped praying for a happily ever after
I'd rather be happy now; happy today
I've stopped weaving dreams & plans
I'd rather do something I love daily
I've stopped thinking of the so called future
My horizon extends to just the end of the next week
I'd like to believe I'm getting wiser 😄
July 14, 2015
Reverie
Staring out into the velvety sky
A gazillion different thoughts in mind.
How it came to be
Or why it came to be
What will become of it
Where it'll lead me to.
Staring out at the velvety sky
Hope, happiness, apprehension & doubts running wild
I'm left aswoon
Yearning to hear you breathe, me breathe
Staring out into the velvety sky
I need to know it's real.
Hope, happiness, apprehension & doubts running wild
I'm left aswoon
Yearning to hear you breathe, me breathe
Staring out into the velvety sky
I need to know it's real.
July 5, 2015
The first job
Making my way in through the corridor
Already feeling the adrenaline rush
Once in, pen on paper
Ears wide open to histories
Hands working craftily at examination
Breaking drug ampoules by their neck
Ripping out syringes from their polythene packaging
Drawing blood, filling in forms
On my toes, one end to another
One patient to another
Admitting some, convincing some and discharging some.
End of my shift
Walking out through the corridor, I have a wide smile plastered on my exhausted face
I thank God for making me choose Medicine as my profession
~ my life in the Emergency Department.
Already feeling the adrenaline rush
Once in, pen on paper
Ears wide open to histories
Hands working craftily at examination
Breaking drug ampoules by their neck
Ripping out syringes from their polythene packaging
Drawing blood, filling in forms
On my toes, one end to another
One patient to another
Admitting some, convincing some and discharging some.
End of my shift
Walking out through the corridor, I have a wide smile plastered on my exhausted face
I thank God for making me choose Medicine as my profession
~ my life in the Emergency Department.
June 19, 2015
Insomnia
Faint passing of cars in the distance
Uneasiness deep in the gut
Restlessness at its very peak
And the mind at its neurotic best
Uneasiness deep in the gut
Restlessness at its very peak
And the mind at its neurotic best
June 17, 2015
Strings attached ~
The salty ocean breeze slams on my cheeks and with it come tiny droplets of water from the waves that just hit the wall. Walking hand in hand with my closest friend, I have no care or concern for what's going on...I am just engrossed in conversation with her. Soon we make way towards one of the many stalls that have been set up along our walking path, facing the ocean. We buy diced pineapples generously sprinkled with black salt and pepper. Popping the pineapples in our mouths, we walk towards one of the empty benches and stare out into the vast expanse of water ahead of us.
This was a very frequent escapade me and my friends indulged in when stress got to us during our time in medical school. Very often, these visits to the beach side were purposely timed towards late evening so that we would not only avoid the scorching afternoon sun but also manage to dine out and walk home at night, under the moonlight.
I spent a good five and a half years away from home and family in Sri Lanka. True, there were time when I longed to be home with family but over these five years, I found my second family in Sri Lanka. This second family of mine is a weird mix - there's my best(est) friend who's just as crazy as me, there's another who is extremely talkative, yet another who cracks the funniest of jokes, another who knows the in and the out of gadgets, another who's scared of dogs, one who always oversleeps and is late for work, one who is the saviour of the group at classes, one who is hardly seen without her mobile phone, one who loves to eat, one who wants to put on weight and eats but fails always, another who is struggling to shed some fat and then, there's me - me, who got overly attached to this second family of mine.
Not a day goes by when I do not think of them ~
This was a very frequent escapade me and my friends indulged in when stress got to us during our time in medical school. Very often, these visits to the beach side were purposely timed towards late evening so that we would not only avoid the scorching afternoon sun but also manage to dine out and walk home at night, under the moonlight.
I spent a good five and a half years away from home and family in Sri Lanka. True, there were time when I longed to be home with family but over these five years, I found my second family in Sri Lanka. This second family of mine is a weird mix - there's my best(est) friend who's just as crazy as me, there's another who is extremely talkative, yet another who cracks the funniest of jokes, another who knows the in and the out of gadgets, another who's scared of dogs, one who always oversleeps and is late for work, one who is the saviour of the group at classes, one who is hardly seen without her mobile phone, one who loves to eat, one who wants to put on weight and eats but fails always, another who is struggling to shed some fat and then, there's me - me, who got overly attached to this second family of mine.
Not a day goes by when I do not think of them ~
May 26, 2015
Early morning gratitude
I wake up to a thundering sky
Bright white lightening streaks
Creating flashes of brightness,
The breeze, as cool as cool can be.
As my ear attunes to the splattering raindrops,
My eyes feast on the changing colours of the sky,
Shades of grey being painted, layers upon layers.
Thank you Rain Gods
For the downpour
For the much needed respite from the heat
Now I shall enjoy petrichor.
Bright white lightening streaks
Creating flashes of brightness,
The breeze, as cool as cool can be.
As my ear attunes to the splattering raindrops,
My eyes feast on the changing colours of the sky,
Shades of grey being painted, layers upon layers.
Thank you Rain Gods
For the downpour
For the much needed respite from the heat
Now I shall enjoy petrichor.
May 21, 2015
March 15, 2015
March 10, 2015
Letter to my 15 year old self
*What I'd tell my 15 year old self. At 15, I was a grade 11 student at Yangchenphug Higher Secondary School.
I'm 23 now*
Dearest Sweta
You need to loosen up. Smile and laugh more. Don't bother about your crooked canine peeping out when you do. Later in life, you'll remember the laughter, not the crooked canine.
Do not hold back from falling in love...it's natural. You have the right to fall in love several times just as much as you have the right to pick and choose. Everyone you love will teach you a lesson and all these lessons put together will help you find THE man.
Nobody has the right to use you. Stay away from men who lie, cheat & sweet talk. Nothing good will come from them. There'll be those who will hurt you & break your heart, but you have to stand back up on your feet. You can and you will!
Spend more time with friends. Acknowledge them. It's important to have a small circle of amazing friends...number doesn't matter. Open up, trust them and love them.
Appreciate the time you have with them- the lunch breaks, the endless gossip, those short outings...these are the memories that'll you cherish when away from them in college.
Forgive. I know you're not a Saint but you need to start putting into practice the art of forgiving. Forgiving is a value which will help YOU in the long run.Forgive the girl who spread rumours about you, forgive the boy who stole your lunch..you have more important things to deal with.
Moreover, Dumbledore always says that people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right!
Eat! Don't miss out on the burgers, the fries, the ice cream and all those chocolate filled goodness that's available. Thank your metabolism and relish these yumminess before your metabolism slows down and you start putting on weight.
Exercise! If you don't start now, you never will. Run with the dog instead of complaining and sending mum out with the dog. Play more of basketball and badminton and make use of that skipping rope that's accumulating dust in one of the boxes in the store room.
Shop with a purpose. Don't just buy whatever you think is nice. There's a reason why shops have fit-on rooms. Make use of them, spend a good amount of time shopping and deciding on what looks best on you. Don't blindly follow trends; wear what looks best on you.
DO NOT pick on your pimples. I know you get tempted to squeeze out the muck every time one appears on the face but resist the urge. Do whatever it takes, just don't pick on them. You'll thank me later.
People leave. You need to ready yourself for letting go. When you face loss, you'll think it's the end of the world and that you're finished but have faith in God and in the people around you. You will come out of it as a stronger person.
I know you feel that your mother is being over protective and looking at you with a microscope. Always remember that it's in your best interest and it's only because she loves you way more than you love her.
Value your family - everyone! They love you and care for you. Tell them that you do too. Tell your grandmother how much she means to you, say thank you for the dried fruits she brings for you. Tell them they matter before it's too late. Their absence will leave your heart hollow; a scar that even time cannot heal.
Speak up! If you feel strongly about something, voice your opinion. Do not be afraid to take the path un-trodden. You'll make mistakes but you'll also learn lessons from your mistakes; lessons you wouldn't get from anywhere else.
And finally, not everyone who started with you will finish with you. And that's okay.
Love,
Your Older Self
I'm 23 now*
Dearest Sweta
You need to loosen up. Smile and laugh more. Don't bother about your crooked canine peeping out when you do. Later in life, you'll remember the laughter, not the crooked canine.
Do not hold back from falling in love...it's natural. You have the right to fall in love several times just as much as you have the right to pick and choose. Everyone you love will teach you a lesson and all these lessons put together will help you find THE man.
Nobody has the right to use you. Stay away from men who lie, cheat & sweet talk. Nothing good will come from them. There'll be those who will hurt you & break your heart, but you have to stand back up on your feet. You can and you will!
Spend more time with friends. Acknowledge them. It's important to have a small circle of amazing friends...number doesn't matter. Open up, trust them and love them.
Appreciate the time you have with them- the lunch breaks, the endless gossip, those short outings...these are the memories that'll you cherish when away from them in college.
Forgive. I know you're not a Saint but you need to start putting into practice the art of forgiving. Forgiving is a value which will help YOU in the long run.Forgive the girl who spread rumours about you, forgive the boy who stole your lunch..you have more important things to deal with.
Moreover, Dumbledore always says that people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right!
Eat! Don't miss out on the burgers, the fries, the ice cream and all those chocolate filled goodness that's available. Thank your metabolism and relish these yumminess before your metabolism slows down and you start putting on weight.
Exercise! If you don't start now, you never will. Run with the dog instead of complaining and sending mum out with the dog. Play more of basketball and badminton and make use of that skipping rope that's accumulating dust in one of the boxes in the store room.
Shop with a purpose. Don't just buy whatever you think is nice. There's a reason why shops have fit-on rooms. Make use of them, spend a good amount of time shopping and deciding on what looks best on you. Don't blindly follow trends; wear what looks best on you.
DO NOT pick on your pimples. I know you get tempted to squeeze out the muck every time one appears on the face but resist the urge. Do whatever it takes, just don't pick on them. You'll thank me later.
People leave. You need to ready yourself for letting go. When you face loss, you'll think it's the end of the world and that you're finished but have faith in God and in the people around you. You will come out of it as a stronger person.
I know you feel that your mother is being over protective and looking at you with a microscope. Always remember that it's in your best interest and it's only because she loves you way more than you love her.
Value your family - everyone! They love you and care for you. Tell them that you do too. Tell your grandmother how much she means to you, say thank you for the dried fruits she brings for you. Tell them they matter before it's too late. Their absence will leave your heart hollow; a scar that even time cannot heal.
Speak up! If you feel strongly about something, voice your opinion. Do not be afraid to take the path un-trodden. You'll make mistakes but you'll also learn lessons from your mistakes; lessons you wouldn't get from anywhere else.
And finally, not everyone who started with you will finish with you. And that's okay.
Love,
Your Older Self
February 28, 2015
Metamorphosis
The touch of a hand
The stroke of the hair
The soft, meaningless giggles
A billion butterflies in the stomach
And gazillion emotions running wild.
Unplanned encounters
Spontaneous dates
Fun filled days from dawn to dusk
Late night conversations
All in a tiny colourful bubble.
Pop burst the colourful bubble
No more touching, cuddling or giggling
Conversations rendered confined to that by the eyes
Smiles taken over by sadness
Why do all good things come to an end?
The stroke of the hair
The soft, meaningless giggles
A billion butterflies in the stomach
And gazillion emotions running wild.
Unplanned encounters
Spontaneous dates
Fun filled days from dawn to dusk
Late night conversations
All in a tiny colourful bubble.
Pop burst the colourful bubble
No more touching, cuddling or giggling
Conversations rendered confined to that by the eyes
Smiles taken over by sadness
Why do all good things come to an end?
November 1, 2014
To goals, hopes and dreams
Shhhh do you hear that?
No vile noises or voices
No annoying sounds or clowns
Just me and my meandering mind.
Grew up wanting to be many,
From Snow White to Cinderella
Sleeping Beauty to the (hair) opluent Rapunzel.
Dreamt of a knight in shining armour, never without his stallion.
Growing older wanting to be many,
From Victoria Beckham, Sylvia Plath
To a world famous doctor.
Dreaming of happiness, sleeping on clouds.
This life has no paucity of dreams
Or inspiration
Or opportunities
Only has a dearth of sentiment, masked faces gallore.
A pleasant dusk, inching ever so closely towards dark
The first day of November
My mind continues to meander
To glistening stars, to a bright white moon and a gazillion dreams, yet to be conquered.
Final exams in sixteen days #ScaryStoriesIn5Words
No vile noises or voices
No annoying sounds or clowns
Just me and my meandering mind.
Grew up wanting to be many,
From Snow White to Cinderella
Sleeping Beauty to the (hair) opluent Rapunzel.
Dreamt of a knight in shining armour, never without his stallion.
Growing older wanting to be many,
From Victoria Beckham, Sylvia Plath
To a world famous doctor.
Dreaming of happiness, sleeping on clouds.
This life has no paucity of dreams
Or inspiration
Or opportunities
Only has a dearth of sentiment, masked faces gallore.
A pleasant dusk, inching ever so closely towards dark
The first day of November
My mind continues to meander
To glistening stars, to a bright white moon and a gazillion dreams, yet to be conquered.
Final exams in sixteen days #ScaryStoriesIn5Words
October 21, 2014
Heart
The heart has a mind of its own
Has needs of it own
The heart yearns for love
And it's mind, for attention
The heart is fragile
It breaks
By the lack of love, attention & ignorance.
The heart is fickle,
Thanks to it's own mind
It'll forget just as easily as it forgives and cherishes
The heart has no mouth
It communicates by beating with that of its soulmate
When this mode of communication is obstructed
It works like the superior vena cava obstruction...
... like how the veins distend and engorge
The heart swells with unexplored emotions
When overwhelmed, it explodes
Too bad, the heart doesn't have a buffer system of it's own
It breaks, shatters, ends up in pieces
Forever scarred.
*Something I wrote when insomnia overtook my body.
April 5, 2014
When I was tourist in my own country
It isn't until something is taken away from us, that we realise what we had before was incredible.
Being away from home for the last two years, I've grown to appreciate the little things that made what home what it is; be it the roads leading me home, the peach trees in the garden outside, the prayer flags colourfully adorning our roadsides or the intricately painted traditonal decor.
When I got to go home last month, I took time to stop and take in the beauty of the place that we're fortunate to be born in...
Being away from home for the last two years, I've grown to appreciate the little things that made what home what it is; be it the roads leading me home, the peach trees in the garden outside, the prayer flags colourfully adorning our roadsides or the intricately painted traditonal decor.
When I got to go home last month, I took time to stop and take in the beauty of the place that we're fortunate to be born in...
Cannot wait until I'm home for good... Home is the nicest word there is.
November 9, 2013
Everybody matters
Did you smile at the pedestrian who just happened to make eye contact with you today?
Did you greet the gate keeper when you entered your work place?
Did you say thank you to the cab driver who drove you to your destination?
Did you say 'I love you' to your mother today?
Did you pat the dog who came running to you with his tail wagging in joy?
Did you smile and stroke the child who in his innocence stared at you from the seat infront of you in the bus while on his mother's lap?
Did you pray for the life of the person in the ambulance as it sped past you, siren sounding in full volume?
Did you thank God for keeping you alive, hale & hearty?
~ Eveybody matters. Saying 'good morning', 'thank you' or just simply smiling can mean a lot to someone. When it doesn't cost us anything, why don't we do it?
Be thankful for the life you have, be thankful that your chidren and parents are healthy. Appreciate the love and concern someone has for you.
I've seen children, young adults, parents die in the most unexpected of times in the hospital. Many a times people around them realise their importance only after they're gone ~
There must surely be a reason why God created humans with the ability to communicate - lets communicate, lets make everyone around feel that they matter.
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