If you're in a non medical field and have friends pursuing medicine, it'd be very common for you to hear your medical friend brooding and complaining about how hectic and stressful work is.
My friends go through that a lot too -very often I complain to them about how exhausted and sleep deprived I am.
No matter how much I love and enjoy the course, there are times when I get up after measly hours of sleep and doubt if I'll survive the day. (Thank God I've had no episodes of faints and falls!) But it does take a toll on your health sometimes.
These past few weeks have been hectic - not just work wise but also deciding on how many days can you miss from work to have a vacation of a reasonable time with family.
Just yesterday when I had a five minute conversation with a friend (yes, I have to cut it down to 5 minutes) I was wishing that God does some magic and gives me all the time to catch up on missed sleep. And guess what? He heard me! :)
This morning, I found out that the eye surgeon we're studying/working under is going abroad for a week and so we need not go from tomorrow! I almost did a small happy dance infront of her when she signed our record books. We finished four days ahead of time which means four days of adequate sleep.
Happily I strutted on to university where there was more good news in store for me! Afternoon lectures had been postponed! I leisurely had my lunch with delicious prawns, tried a new bottled yoghurt, took a short nap and got some studying done in the library.
And now, I'm at home lying flat on bed, working on this post from a new phone I invested on recently, ear phones plugged in listening to One Direction's Up all night and munching on a huge chocolate bar.
The thought of being able to get up late tomorrow, the fact that my tickets are confirmed and that in 18 days, I see my mum - I've got to be the happiest medical student right now :)
They say sharing happiness increases it manifold, hence this post. I was smiling the whole time I wrote this :)
And girls, Michelle Phan has an awesome giveaway. Go over to her YouTube channel and participate!
December 4, 2012
November 12, 2012
Have you confronted your dream? Your personal calling?
I've been reading Paulo Coelho's "The Alchemist" and I agree with Times, full on, on saying that his books have had a life enhancing impact on millions of people.
I've loved this book so much - I might just read it all over again!
Anyway, this post is to share with you'll the Author's Note. Just think about reasons why you think you're on Earth and the things you've done in order to live up to that reason.
With that at the back of your head, just read this abstract:
What is a personal calling?
- It is God's blessing, it is the path that God chose for you here on Earth.
Whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend. However, we don't all have the courage to confront our own dream. Why?
There are four obstacles.
First, we are told from childhood on wards that everything we want to do is impossible We grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice fear and guilt. There comes a time when our personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul as to be invisible. But, it's still there.
If we have the courage to disinter our dream, we are then faced by the second obstacle - love. We know what we want to do, but are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream. We do not realize that love is just a further impetus, not something that will prevent us going forward, and that those who genuinely wish us well want us to be happy and are prepared to accompany us on that journey.
Once we have accepted that love is a stimulus we come up against the third obstacle: fear of the defeats we will meet on the path. We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn't workout, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse "Oh, well, I didn't really want that anyway." We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of the personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in this journey. Then, we, the warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the Universe is conspiring in our favor even though we may not understand how.
I ask myself: are defeats necessary? Well, necessary or not, they happen. When we first begin fighting for our dream, we have no experience and make many mistakes. The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.
So, why is it so important to live our personal calling if we are only going to suffer more than other people? Because once we have overcome the defeats - and we always do - we are filled with a greater sense of euphoria and confidence In the silence of our hearts, we know that we are proving ourselves worthy of the miracle of life. Each day, each hour, is part of the good fight. We start to live with enthusiasm and pleasure. Intense, unexpected suffering passes more quickly than suffering that is apparently bearable; the latter goes on for years and, without our noticing eats away at our soul, until, one day, we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness and it stays with us for the rest of our lives.
Having disinterred our dream, having used the power of love to nurture it and spent many years living with the scars, we suddenly notice that what we always wanted is there waiting for us, perhaps the very next day. Then comes the fourth obstacle: the fear of realizing the dream for which we have fighting all of our lives.
Oscar Wilde said, "Each man kills the thing he loves." And it's true. The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt.We look around to those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. We forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far. I have known a lot of people who, when their personal calling was within their grasp,went on to commit a series of stupid mistakes and never reached their goal when it was only a step away.
This is the most dangerous of obstacles because it has a kind of saintly aura about it: renouncing joy and conquest. But if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you are here.
I've loved this book so much - I might just read it all over again!
Anyway, this post is to share with you'll the Author's Note. Just think about reasons why you think you're on Earth and the things you've done in order to live up to that reason.
With that at the back of your head, just read this abstract:
What is a personal calling?
- It is God's blessing, it is the path that God chose for you here on Earth.
Whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend. However, we don't all have the courage to confront our own dream. Why?There are four obstacles.
First, we are told from childhood on wards that everything we want to do is impossible We grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice fear and guilt. There comes a time when our personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul as to be invisible. But, it's still there.
If we have the courage to disinter our dream, we are then faced by the second obstacle - love. We know what we want to do, but are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream. We do not realize that love is just a further impetus, not something that will prevent us going forward, and that those who genuinely wish us well want us to be happy and are prepared to accompany us on that journey.
Once we have accepted that love is a stimulus we come up against the third obstacle: fear of the defeats we will meet on the path. We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn't workout, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse "Oh, well, I didn't really want that anyway." We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of the personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in this journey. Then, we, the warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the Universe is conspiring in our favor even though we may not understand how.
I ask myself: are defeats necessary? Well, necessary or not, they happen. When we first begin fighting for our dream, we have no experience and make many mistakes. The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.
So, why is it so important to live our personal calling if we are only going to suffer more than other people? Because once we have overcome the defeats - and we always do - we are filled with a greater sense of euphoria and confidence In the silence of our hearts, we know that we are proving ourselves worthy of the miracle of life. Each day, each hour, is part of the good fight. We start to live with enthusiasm and pleasure. Intense, unexpected suffering passes more quickly than suffering that is apparently bearable; the latter goes on for years and, without our noticing eats away at our soul, until, one day, we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness and it stays with us for the rest of our lives.
Having disinterred our dream, having used the power of love to nurture it and spent many years living with the scars, we suddenly notice that what we always wanted is there waiting for us, perhaps the very next day. Then comes the fourth obstacle: the fear of realizing the dream for which we have fighting all of our lives.
Oscar Wilde said, "Each man kills the thing he loves." And it's true. The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt.We look around to those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. We forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far. I have known a lot of people who, when their personal calling was within their grasp,went on to commit a series of stupid mistakes and never reached their goal when it was only a step away.
This is the most dangerous of obstacles because it has a kind of saintly aura about it: renouncing joy and conquest. But if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you are here.
~ Paulo Coelho
August 30, 2012
Thankful for my sanity
"I hear two people conspiring against me - it's cost me my job, and I'm losing my family".
"My mother is trying to separate me and my husband and she's told the entire village of her intentions - I can sense it"
From schizophrenics to depressed patients to ones with bi-polar disorder to heroin/alcohol addicted patients - we saw them all.We got an insight into their lives. And trust me, you wouldn't want to know how it is.
"My mother is trying to separate me and my husband and she's told the entire village of her intentions - I can sense it"
These are just two snippets of conversations I've made with patients at the National Institute of Mental Health, Sri Lanka.
I've spent a little over 10 days there with patients from different walks of life. Each one has a different story to tell, each one has a bucketful of problems, each one leads a different life.
I've spent a little over 10 days there with patients from different walks of life. Each one has a different story to tell, each one has a bucketful of problems, each one leads a different life.
From schizophrenics to depressed patients to ones with bi-polar disorder to heroin/alcohol addicted patients - we saw them all.We got an insight into their lives. And trust me, you wouldn't want to know how it is.
Can you imagine a person who always hears people conspiring to kill him; but when he looks around - there's no one.
Can you imagine a person who hates her mother because she thinks she's going to kill her new born baby; but the mother is in tears - seeing her daughter become a totally different person.
Can you imagine a person who hates his wife because he suspects her of having an extra marital affair - the wife who loves him to bits and is praying daily for his recovery.
Can you imagine a person who is so depressed that he wants to jump into a moving train and take his life.
Can you imagine a person who hates her mother because she thinks she's going to kill her new born baby; but the mother is in tears - seeing her daughter become a totally different person.
Can you imagine a person who hates his wife because he suspects her of having an extra marital affair - the wife who loves him to bits and is praying daily for his recovery.
Can you imagine a person who is so depressed that he wants to jump into a moving train and take his life.
Are you thankful that you have a sound mind? That you are not locked up behind bars in a mental institute?
I am.
I took my sanity for granted until I visited the institute. Until now, I've lived thinking that sanity is part of life, it's there and will be there. However, it's not. Sanity is as fickle as fickle can be. You can lose it as easily as you lose your handkerchief.
I am.
I took my sanity for granted until I visited the institute. Until now, I've lived thinking that sanity is part of life, it's there and will be there. However, it's not. Sanity is as fickle as fickle can be. You can lose it as easily as you lose your handkerchief.
Coincidentally, I happen to be reading Paulo Coelho's Veronika Decides to Die - a story about a young girl who has everything in life - she's young, pretty, has a stable job, good friends, loving family & boyfriends. But she's not happy & she decides to kill herself by swallowing sleeping pills. Death doesn't come easy - she wakes up to find herself in a mental hospital - she's alive but her heart is severely damaged and she only has a few days to live. During her stay in the hospital, waiting for death (which is so beautifully described by Paulo Coelho that you can actually visualize it) she realizes that every second of existence is precious. She sees life in a different light.
The book has enhanced whatever I've felt and learnt from what I observed at the mental institute here in Sri Lanka. It has made me feel grateful for the fact that I am alive.
I recommend everybody to give the book a try - it'll be worth it!
I recommend everybody to give the book a try - it'll be worth it!
I'm glad that this course is teaching me not just Medicine but also morals, various feelings and values of life.
That's just one reason why I love what I'm pursuing! :)
August 9, 2012
A time; A choice
I was reading the book "Eleven Minutes" by Paulo Coelho, and I stumbled upon this short piece in one of my favourite chapters of the book.
It's from a Hebrew book, called Ecclesiastes.
It's from a Hebrew book, called Ecclesiastes.
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and a time of peace.
I'd recommend the book - it gives you an insight into the lives of prostitutes - and it's based on a true story.
August 3, 2012
24 Life Lessons, Courtesy Of My Dog
I've been a little free this week so I'm spending a lot of time pursuing my hobbies - one of them being reading.
I came across this lovely piece on a fellow blogger's blog - it's so true on so many levels & I thought it's definitely worth a share. (Even better if you're a dog lover like me!)
I came across this lovely piece on a fellow blogger's blog - it's so true on so many levels & I thought it's definitely worth a share. (Even better if you're a dog lover like me!)
1. You can choose not to run to get the ball, but it’s always a lot more fun if you do.
2. Never underestimate the value of a simple plate of food and water.
3. Sometimes it’s all right to roll over and let someone pamper you.
4. Never bite the hand that feeds you.
5. Make sure you stretch thoroughly before you get up.
6. If a loved one is sad, approach slowly, cuddle up to them and wait for them to tell you what’s wrong.
7. There are times you lead, and there are times you follow.
8. Never discriminate. Cats can be a lot of fun to hang out with too.
9. The best place to nap is under the sun.
10. There is no bigger sign of affection and closeness than a big lick to the face.
11. It’s OK to be overly excited about things that pass you by.
12. Wading into water is good. Jumping in is infinitely better.
13. Pick carefully where you go to the bathroom.
14. A good run will always improve your day.
15. Only bark when the situation warrants it.
16. Leftovers are always delicious.
17. If someone enjoys scratching your back, stick with them forever.
18. Always know how to find your way back home.
19. Take good care of your teeth.
20. Loyalty is priceless.
21. Someone hurts someone you care about? Run after them and make them pay.
22. It’s all about opportunities: you’re not there, someone else gets the morsel.
23. Even if you’re alone, there’s someone out there that’s thinking of you.
24. Always go for what you want.
-Emil Caillaux
July 29, 2012
Been there, done that
Been there, done that - Yes, I can proudly say that when somebody asks me if I've watched a cricket match live from the stadium! =) *all smiles*
I'm an ardent fan of cricket - I don't know the rules of the game in & out, but I have enough understanding to enjoy the match, despite it being lengthy (considering the fact that I don't have a lot of patience).
I developed interest in the match when I used to watch cricket matches on TV with my uncles and whatever I know of the game is what has been passed on to me by them.
I've grown up rooting for the Indian Cricket Team & my all time favourite is Rahul Dravid. Now, I have a soft corner for Virat Kohli - he's the most good looking player in the team, for now.
I'm now in Sri Lanka, a country where the people are cricket fanatics!
Sri Lanka co-hosted the Cricket World Cup last year (2011) and I desperately wanted to go watch atleast one match where India was playing. But, I could never get tickets.
But this time, when I heard of India touring Sri Lanka for the ODIs, I did my share of planning in advance. Thanks to a very good friend of mine, I got tickets and so, yesterday, I headed out to watch my first live cricket match between India & Sri Lanka played at the R. Premadasa Grounds in Colombo.
I was so excited! I wasn't even one bit sad that I couldn't watch the Olympics on TV!
But I was in a dilemma on which team to support - I've loved the Indian Team since the day I understood cricket but I love Sri Lanka - it's my second home and there arises some feeling of patriotism.
When I got my seat and looked down to the ground, I actually pinched myself - it looked so surreal. I couldn't believe I was seeing cricketers whom I've watched on TV playing just few meters in front of me. I squinted my eyes, craned my necks - did almost everything possible to see each one of them!
Only when the second wicket was lost, did I actually realise that I was there, in real, in person watching it all happen.
Sri Lanka was batting first and 98% of the crowd (full stadium!) was rooting for Sri Lanka. Inevitably, I was in support of Sri Lanka too. Screaming, shouting, wildly waving the cards displaying 4s & 6s high in the air every time a boundary was crossed - I had the time of my life. Sri Lanka ended at 286 for 5 wickets at the end of 50 overs.
It was almost 7pm by the time the Indian opening batsmen came on to bat - Gambhir and Sehwag. Sehwag was caught off guard and was out for just 3 runs. Gambhir went on to score a century with 102 runs. Rohit Sharma had yet another duckie. Suresh Raina and Irfan Pathan created magic.
India did not look like they were going to win. And with minimal support from the crowd, I was sure they'd lose. I was so bored in between, hoping the overs would move faster.
But in no time, things got very interesting! Malinga almost made a hatrick taking down 2 wickets consecutively. As he bowled to get his third wicket, we were all shouting "Malinga, Malinga, Malinga..."
But whenever the Indians made a 4, I clapped - garnering deadly stares from the die hard sri lankan fans seated around me! Haha!
The last five overs with the Indians batting was just magical.
I was so excited but nervous at the same time. I felt I was missing heart beats. I was telling my friend that had I been Dhoni, the Indian captain, I'd have gotten an anxiety attack by then.
But all of it paid - the Indians went on to win!!!
The funniest incident was a dog who came running onto the field twice, pooped and ran back to disappear in the crowd. A cleaner had to come and shovel away the poop. Haha!
The 9 hours that I spent there was totally worth it.
I'm definitely going to go watch more of such matches! :)
p.s: Trivia - No team has ever chased so much (287) to beat Sri Lanka at home!
Pictures are taken from my very primitive phone - I'll steal some pictures from my friends and put them up shortly!
Special note of thank you to all who made it possible for me!
Updated (30/07/2012) - as promised, better pictures.
I'm an ardent fan of cricket - I don't know the rules of the game in & out, but I have enough understanding to enjoy the match, despite it being lengthy (considering the fact that I don't have a lot of patience).
I developed interest in the match when I used to watch cricket matches on TV with my uncles and whatever I know of the game is what has been passed on to me by them.
I've grown up rooting for the Indian Cricket Team & my all time favourite is Rahul Dravid. Now, I have a soft corner for Virat Kohli - he's the most good looking player in the team, for now.
I'm now in Sri Lanka, a country where the people are cricket fanatics!
Sri Lanka co-hosted the Cricket World Cup last year (2011) and I desperately wanted to go watch atleast one match where India was playing. But, I could never get tickets.
But this time, when I heard of India touring Sri Lanka for the ODIs, I did my share of planning in advance. Thanks to a very good friend of mine, I got tickets and so, yesterday, I headed out to watch my first live cricket match between India & Sri Lanka played at the R. Premadasa Grounds in Colombo.
I was so excited! I wasn't even one bit sad that I couldn't watch the Olympics on TV!
But I was in a dilemma on which team to support - I've loved the Indian Team since the day I understood cricket but I love Sri Lanka - it's my second home and there arises some feeling of patriotism.
When I got my seat and looked down to the ground, I actually pinched myself - it looked so surreal. I couldn't believe I was seeing cricketers whom I've watched on TV playing just few meters in front of me. I squinted my eyes, craned my necks - did almost everything possible to see each one of them!
Only when the second wicket was lost, did I actually realise that I was there, in real, in person watching it all happen.
Sri Lanka was batting first and 98% of the crowd (full stadium!) was rooting for Sri Lanka. Inevitably, I was in support of Sri Lanka too. Screaming, shouting, wildly waving the cards displaying 4s & 6s high in the air every time a boundary was crossed - I had the time of my life. Sri Lanka ended at 286 for 5 wickets at the end of 50 overs.
It was almost 7pm by the time the Indian opening batsmen came on to bat - Gambhir and Sehwag. Sehwag was caught off guard and was out for just 3 runs. Gambhir went on to score a century with 102 runs. Rohit Sharma had yet another duckie. Suresh Raina and Irfan Pathan created magic.
India did not look like they were going to win. And with minimal support from the crowd, I was sure they'd lose. I was so bored in between, hoping the overs would move faster.
But in no time, things got very interesting! Malinga almost made a hatrick taking down 2 wickets consecutively. As he bowled to get his third wicket, we were all shouting "Malinga, Malinga, Malinga..."
But whenever the Indians made a 4, I clapped - garnering deadly stares from the die hard sri lankan fans seated around me! Haha!
The last five overs with the Indians batting was just magical.
I was so excited but nervous at the same time. I felt I was missing heart beats. I was telling my friend that had I been Dhoni, the Indian captain, I'd have gotten an anxiety attack by then.
But all of it paid - the Indians went on to win!!!
The funniest incident was a dog who came running onto the field twice, pooped and ran back to disappear in the crowd. A cleaner had to come and shovel away the poop. Haha!
The 9 hours that I spent there was totally worth it.
I'm definitely going to go watch more of such matches! :)
p.s: Trivia - No team has ever chased so much (287) to beat Sri Lanka at home!
Pictures are taken from my very primitive phone - I'll steal some pictures from my friends and put them up shortly!
Special note of thank you to all who made it possible for me!
Updated (30/07/2012) - as promised, better pictures.
June 9, 2012
I miss you mumma
Before 1999, we had no TV, so it was only over the radio that I heard various readers. I used to loving faking an accent and read out those articles.
For a brief time then, I wanted to become a journalist!
When BBS TV was launched, mum was among the first few English news readers. When I saw her on TV the first time, I was so excited!
I remember taking pictures with the film roll camera of her on TV; and finishing the entire roll! I was so proud that MY mum was on TV :)
Soon, it became almost an everyday thing. Back then, news readers had to go all the way to Sangaygang to deliver the news. So mum used to go by about 6pm and get back quite late. I used to wait at home with the maid; so mum & I could have our dinner together.
Soon after the news was over, I used to look out of the window towards the Sangaygang hill (which then, was clearly seen from our window - there weren't so many buildings obscuring the sight unlike now). If I saw a pair of car lights dancing down the ridge, I knew it was mum coming back. I'd quickly ask the maid didi to warm up the food.
When I saw no car lights, I'd be so disappointed.
There were times when I missed her so much, that I used to go out, stand on the tallest window parapet; face towards Sangaygang and shout, "Mummyyyyyyy.....". Many a times, the neighbors used to come running, worried that something had gone wrong. I'd just tell them that I was missing mum. They'd tell me to go in and wait, but I never listened. I waited outside till I saw lights over the hill - only then did I run in to ask didi to heat the food.
After mum quit journalism and started work at the UN, things were even more hectic, work wise for her. She's get home very late. But I suppose it was because I was in my teen years, I was too engrossed in watching TV shows, in making scrap books that I did not miss her as much as I did as a kid. With the invent of mobile phones, I'd just text her and ask when she was coming, and that was it.
Now that I look back, I realize that once I was in high school, I took mum for granted so many times. I don't remember ever thanking her for making me what I was then.
I don't remember thanking her for waiting for me for dinner when I'd get back late from tuition classes. I don't remember thanking her for getting up early and making my favorite steamed broccoli with amul butter and bringing it to my bedside for me to get up. I never thanked her for staying up with me, late in the night, while I studied. I never thanked her for snuggling me to sleep when I was too stressed with exams.
If I could go back in time, I'd want to thank her every single day for all that she did for me. You know how they say, you realize the importance of people and things only when you don't have them - it holds so true!
Now, that I'm far away from her, I realize how much time and effort she had spent on making my life comfortable. I miss her so much - never a day goes by when I don't write to her telling her how much I miss her and how much I love her. I hardly said that to her while I was with her, back home.
Even now, when I am 20, I have times when I can't fall asleep due to stress, and I call her at the wee hours of morning, and ask her to talk me to sleep. Nobody but she has that calming effect on me. I have loved people in life, but the love & respect I have for her surpasses every nice feeling I have for others.
My happiness knows no bounds when people tell us that we are more of friends than a mother - daughter duo. My extended family remind me time and again of how my mum has only me, and I tell them that she doesn't have only me, she has the whole of me :)
Every time I tell her that what I am today is all because of her, she tells me that what she is today is because of me - and it's such an overwhelming thing to hear.
I've been missing her all the more today. If only I could go upmto the terrace and shout "Mummyyyyyy....." for her to hear it all the way in Dhaka.
But a skype session's due tonight - so I'll do all the screaming (in joy of course) later! :)
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